fear

Reality check for Realists

There are multiple ways to divide people, putting aside physical attributes. One of that includes grouping people on their attitude, vision towards the world. 

People often divide into three groups, 

Optimists
Pessimists
Realists

Everyone knows what they mean,I am not interested in explaining them either. Today I want to talk about “Realists”.

Disclaimer: All the people who claim who claim to be realists may not agree with this. But this is how the people I know who consider themselves realists roll.

According to them, Optimists are bunch of people(read: Hippies) who fail to achieve what they dream of, but still were happy with their life. Basically they are jealous of them.

Pessimists are a bunch of pussies who are afraid of everything, they are fit for nothing and will probably be working in a cubicle for the rest of their lives.

Realists, there are only few people who make into this group. According to them  Steve Jobs, Don Vito Corleone and themselves are only meant to be realists.

Let me tell you all self-certified realists, you are wrong.

Every person has three of these in them and the one characteristic that dominates the other two is what makes that person.

If you think that you are better than the other two people , then I am afraid that you belong in a different category, we call them Narcissists. You are so full of yourself that, if a person dreams big which might be unrealistic to you, you stamp them as a over optimistic guy/girl and hand them out a free advice stating that they should come to the real world and live the real life. Seriously? After all the quotes you have in your room about how dreams are amazing, all those Steve Jobs posters and auto bios dint teach a thing or two about dreaming?

You chose to give up on your dreams, you gave up that dreams will never come true. Why do you want everyone to come get in your train of reality and rain on our parade?

You claim you are realist, fair enough, good for you! But if you start saying to others that you should give up on dreams and starting living in reality. You are not a realist, you are a pessimist. You are so afraid that whatever you dream will never come true and when you see people with dreams, you lose yourself and start bull shitting them with what happened to your dreams.

Stop saying stories which start “I too dreamed of doing/going/becoming ….” and a sad story about how you failed to achieve them and which generally end with “… that’s why I stopped dreaming, You should stop dreaming and live in reality”. I am sorry that you couldn’t do what you dreamed of, I really am but that doesn’t give you the right to scare others of dreaming.

Instead why don’t you change the ending “I was too afraid to dream from then on and I regret it every day, I want you to go do what you want to.”

But, inside, deep in your heart you still dream of doing what you wanted do. You still have that optimist alive in you, he is speaking to you right now, don’t ignore his voice, listen to it. You may fail, you will fail, but you will not end with a regret that you din’t give it a shot.

I know I am nothing now, who am I to give you life advice? I know, you are right, but that doesn’t mean you go on killing others dreams. I have one thing that you will never get by being a realist, peace of mind. I may not earn a 6 figure salary, I may not have a Italian car. But I will have that one thing that you can never buy, that fullness, that feeling of doing what I always wanted to do.

Dream on!

Don’t be a dick and scare people. Don’t be a pussy and give up.

 

What are we scared of?

Don’t deny it. You are scared of something. Everyone is scared of something. Be it failure, death, darkness, iPhone that wouldn’t boot or anything! Your iPhone not booting and darkness, these things you must be scared of.

But why death and failure? Death is certain, no matter how  healthy food you eat, how fast you drive, how much yoga you do a week, how many carbs you burn on that treadmill, you will die. Then what’s the point of fearing death?

We all know that we are going to die, but still we are scared of it. It’s inevitable, then why be afraid. ‘Cos we don’t want it now, not this moment, not this week, not this month, not this year. Why not now, you know you are going to end up in a 6 by 2 feet place. Because we hold dear of all we have now, we still have a lot of things to do, jobs to do, dates to go, guys/girls to fall in love with, get our heart broken, feel miserable of life, feel great about life, making promises, breaking them.

It’s the usual plan. Live a happy, merry life. Having a satisfying life.

But why the fear of failure? You are going to die anyway, rich or poor, fat or petite, alcoholic or vegan, successful or a looser, we all die. But failure is something. How will I face  mom and dad  if I don’t score good in exams? How will I tell my partner that I screwed up big time?

Suppose you end up with bad grades, or really screwed up  big time. So, what? Aren’t you still your mama’s boy/girl? Isn’t your partner still the person you love most? There may come sometimes when they might be really pissed at you. They have all the rights to be pissed about, they expected from you, good grades or something else, they did. That’s why they are angry on you.

It is you who should deal with your shit.

But that doesn’t explain why we are afraid of failure, every one fails, everything can fail. Your brakes might fail and you hit a tree and drive, that doesn’t mean that you don’t go out of the door. What if your roof collapses on your head? You cant stay out forever either. What if lightning stirkes you, bear eats you(the Grylls one, not the one in the zoo)

All I have to say is not to fear of failure.

I am not saying that I am not afraid of failure, I am saying this I pee in my pants when I think of the problems I have. I am scared and I don’t want to be scared.

The next time you hear yourself saying “What if this doesn’t work out?” Say to yourself “What the hell? Let me try first, if I fail then we will think something out.”

I am ready to say that. If I can, then anyone can.

I am not a motivation speaker or don’t wish to be. I am just a guy dealing with his own shit and fearing everything he comes across with.